Today's sermon is yet another one that False Prophet Ronald Weinland has recorded in a hotel room by himself. This makes the third sermon in a row with no audience, as he did the same for the Day of Atonement because the recording of his live sermon failed. According to Ron, he is in Auckland, New Zealand. He must still be behind in preparing his sermons for the Feast of Tabernacles to give up this opportunity to meet the brethren.
As one might expect, he talked up the one of his seven thunders that is sounding loudly, which as all who don't live in cave knows to be the global economic problems.
On page 115 of his book "2008 God's Final Witness, the Insane Liar wrote: "During the Sixth Seal, all Seven Thunders will be getting progressively louder. Before the Seventh (and final) Seal is opened, the Seven Thunders will become so pronounced that the validity of everything written about them in the previous chapter should roar loudly in the ears of anyone who is willing to admit the truth.
According to the false prophet's second timeline, the Seventh Seal is to open (for the second time) on November 14. That means that in the next 34 days six more thunders would need to be sounding loudly for the false prophet to be a true prophet -- and also Duet. 18:22 would have to be rewritten to allow do-overs.
Deut. 18:22 says "If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the LORD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him." Can anyone point out where it says in that verse that if something doesn't happen when you first say it will, then just change the timeline until you get lucky?
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Weinland Down Under
False Prophet Ronald Weinland's sermon for yesterday was prerecorded since in Sydney, Australia he's in one of the earliest timezones.
He spent some time in yesterday's sermon discussing whether children should fast on the Day of Atonement, which begins at sundown on Oct 8. He also mentioned the failing health of the wife of one his elders.
One might think that Ron would use this opportunity to meet with the Australian brethren. Instead, this is one of the sermons he recorded by himself in a hotel room, giving both the opening and closing prayers himself. He explained that he needed to spend some time alone preparing sermons for the Feast of Tabernacles.
Ron, if you're having trouble thinking of something to say, I have a solution to your problem. All you have to do is what you said you'd do back on March 29 when you promised to stop preaching if the effects of the First Trumpet was not apparent by Pentecost. Just be true to your word -- for a change.
He spent some time in yesterday's sermon discussing whether children should fast on the Day of Atonement, which begins at sundown on Oct 8. He also mentioned the failing health of the wife of one his elders.
One might think that Ron would use this opportunity to meet with the Australian brethren. Instead, this is one of the sermons he recorded by himself in a hotel room, giving both the opening and closing prayers himself. He explained that he needed to spend some time alone preparing sermons for the Feast of Tabernacles.
Ron, if you're having trouble thinking of something to say, I have a solution to your problem. All you have to do is what you said you'd do back on March 29 when you promised to stop preaching if the effects of the First Trumpet was not apparent by Pentecost. Just be true to your word -- for a change.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
One Pair Down, Two To Go
It appears now that there will be only two pairs of Witnesses facing off come December 15. James Malm already has a post up on his site admitting he is wrong. No man of sin was revealed yesterday. While he apologizes at the end, he does indulge in a bit of future date speculating in the middle.
At least he showed some humility, unlike Ronald Weinland. And unlike the Insane Liar, he did not spiritualize it or blame it on the rest of us for not being ready. Unlike Ron, has shown some integrity.
Yet somehow I think that we will hear more from Malm in the future.
At least he showed some humility, unlike Ronald Weinland. And unlike the Insane Liar, he did not spiritualize it or blame it on the rest of us for not being ready. Unlike Ron, has shown some integrity.
Yet somehow I think that we will hear more from Malm in the future.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
All the Timelines
As pointed out by a commenter on my previous post, there is yet another false prophet taking advantage of the happenstance of 1335 days between today, the Feast of Trumpets, and Pentecost of 2012. A breakaway splinter from Six-Pack Flurry's Philadelphia COG, Church of God's Faithful is headed by Robert Ardis who considers Flurry to be Laodicean. Ardis is also prophesying the return of Christ based on this 1335-day framework but with variations.
Clicking on the graphic above of Ardis' timeline will expand it to be readable. Ardis' timeline has the two witnesses beginning their 1260 days of prophesying on December 10 instead of Weinland's December 14. Apparently (unlike Weinland) Ardis doesn't consider lying dead in the streets of Jerusalem for 3 1/2 days as actual testimony. Ardis's Great Tribulation doesn't begin until April 4 of next year. On Pentecost of 2012, there's a first resurrection and Christ doesn't return with the 144,000 until Trumpets of 2012.
So with Ardis' prophesy, it appears we have some time to be clear that he's a false prophet. On the other hand, James Malm has prophesied that the man of sin will be revealed today. I just wonder how widely this man will be revealed -- will he be revealed to everyone or just James?
But perhaps Ardis was the first to develop a timeline around the 1335-day interval between Trumpets 2008 and Pentecost 2012, as his book "Whoso Reads Let Him Understand" was published in 2003.
With Malm's Witnesses beginning their jobs around October 26, Ardis's on December 10, and Ron and Laura on December 14, that could be interesting. Perhaps we could arrange for all three pairs of witnesses meet after Dec. 14. They could have contests of plague-bringing-down and turning water into blood. And maybe for a finale they could all breath fire on each other.
Clicking on the graphic above of Ardis' timeline will expand it to be readable. Ardis' timeline has the two witnesses beginning their 1260 days of prophesying on December 10 instead of Weinland's December 14. Apparently (unlike Weinland) Ardis doesn't consider lying dead in the streets of Jerusalem for 3 1/2 days as actual testimony. Ardis's Great Tribulation doesn't begin until April 4 of next year. On Pentecost of 2012, there's a first resurrection and Christ doesn't return with the 144,000 until Trumpets of 2012.
So with Ardis' prophesy, it appears we have some time to be clear that he's a false prophet. On the other hand, James Malm has prophesied that the man of sin will be revealed today. I just wonder how widely this man will be revealed -- will he be revealed to everyone or just James?
But perhaps Ardis was the first to develop a timeline around the 1335-day interval between Trumpets 2008 and Pentecost 2012, as his book "Whoso Reads Let Him Understand" was published in 2003.
With Malm's Witnesses beginning their jobs around October 26, Ardis's on December 10, and Ron and Laura on December 14, that could be interesting. Perhaps we could arrange for all three pairs of witnesses meet after Dec. 14. They could have contests of plague-bringing-down and turning water into blood. And maybe for a finale they could all breath fire on each other.
Monday, September 29, 2008
No Big Surprises Yet
False Prophet Ronald Weinland's big sealing sermon for the Feast of Trumpets has been posted on the COG-PKG website for the benefit of those in earlier timezones and also for the convenience of Webmaster Jeremy who is moving this weekend to new digs in Germany, perhaps a place out in the sticks with an extra bedroom for the Two Witlesses.
To the COG-PKG members assembling to listen, it's not that big of a deal. The total file is one hour and thirty-four minutes (1:34) in length and is comprised of:
0:00 Music is played for those tuning in.
0:03 Opening Prayer.
0:04 Spends several minutes explaining that a collection is taken.
0:08 Discusses why the sermon is prerecorded.
0:09 Begins sermon, reviewing the failed timeline and associated efforts.
0:10 Mentions new order of books, pushing total copies over 1/2 million.
0:14 Announces sermon title, starts reading book of Revelation
1:07 Weinland reads the 50th truth posting from the COG-PKG website, which takes the remainder of the sermon. Delivers special emphasis to the parts responding to his critics and mockers.
1:32 Closing prayer.
Tuesday (tomorrow for most of us) is also a big day for another false prophet. James Malm has his own timeline which begins and ends with the same dates as Weinland's, but differs in the details. According to Malm, it starts with the "man of sin" to be revealed on September 30. This is to be followed by the Two Witnesses (not Ron and Laura) beginning their job around October 26. We'll wait with baited breath to see if his prophesying skills are better than Ron's.
To the COG-PKG members assembling to listen, it's not that big of a deal. The total file is one hour and thirty-four minutes (1:34) in length and is comprised of:
0:00 Music is played for those tuning in.
0:03 Opening Prayer.
0:04 Spends several minutes explaining that a collection is taken.
0:08 Discusses why the sermon is prerecorded.
0:09 Begins sermon, reviewing the failed timeline and associated efforts.
0:10 Mentions new order of books, pushing total copies over 1/2 million.
0:14 Announces sermon title, starts reading book of Revelation
1:07 Weinland reads the 50th truth posting from the COG-PKG website, which takes the remainder of the sermon. Delivers special emphasis to the parts responding to his critics and mockers.
1:32 Closing prayer.
Tuesday (tomorrow for most of us) is also a big day for another false prophet. James Malm has his own timeline which begins and ends with the same dates as Weinland's, but differs in the details. According to Malm, it starts with the "man of sin" to be revealed on September 30. This is to be followed by the Two Witnesses (not Ron and Laura) beginning their job around October 26. We'll wait with baited breath to see if his prophesying skills are better than Ron's.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Frequent Flier Ronald Weinland
Yesterday, False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Cincinnati for the second week in a row, which has been rare for him lately as he has been traveling heavily. Today Laura and Ron resume building up their frequent flier miles as they leave for Hawaii, after which they go to Melbourne, Australia for the fast, then to New Zealand for the first part of the Feast of Tabernacles, and returning to Australia for the final part of the FoT. He didn't mention his post-feast vacation, but announced a trip to Europe in late November and early December. That would be his third European trip this year. I wonder what the deficit is between the Witlesses travel costs to Europe and the tithes he gathers from there.
Weinland explained that while in Europe he would be making preparations for what is coming up. Perhaps he will look for a place to stay when he flees being arrested by the IRS Criminal Investigation Division.
Ron mentioned the mysterious event that was announced after services the prior weekend. The Insane Liar claimed that there were some who were lying and claiming that it was some kind of meeting. I'm puzzled as to who it was that said that. The social event was a wedding reception for his daughter Audra and her groom Chris Little. Congratulations to Chris and Audra. I think. Ron, what's the big deal? Why all the secrecy?
As expected, Weinland hammered on the latest thunder, which is the crisis going on in the finance markets right now. He's still on his spiel that the dollar will soon be worthless, but then that was supposed to have happened "a little after April". It's well past "a little after April". No mention of the other silent thunders.
Then he continued on from last week talking about how to deal with new members. And discussed how to deal with unconverted mates. They are allowed to attend as long as they're not hostile. Unconverted mates seem to the the remaining demographic for the Insane Liar to tap.
To any PKG members reading this: So on Tuesday you're going to be sealed as part of the 144,000. Do you think it will be for real this time, and not the false alarm of February 2? Do you really think that you're fully trained to be a prince in the kingdom of God? Or perhaps all you're qualified to be is a dogcatcher. That would be OK, there could be a need, and with 144,000 there should be room for a few of those.
For another point of view on this sermon, see what Jack said about it.
Weinland explained that while in Europe he would be making preparations for what is coming up. Perhaps he will look for a place to stay when he flees being arrested by the IRS Criminal Investigation Division.
Ron mentioned the mysterious event that was announced after services the prior weekend. The Insane Liar claimed that there were some who were lying and claiming that it was some kind of meeting. I'm puzzled as to who it was that said that. The social event was a wedding reception for his daughter Audra and her groom Chris Little. Congratulations to Chris and Audra. I think. Ron, what's the big deal? Why all the secrecy?
As expected, Weinland hammered on the latest thunder, which is the crisis going on in the finance markets right now. He's still on his spiel that the dollar will soon be worthless, but then that was supposed to have happened "a little after April". It's well past "a little after April". No mention of the other silent thunders.
Then he continued on from last week talking about how to deal with new members. And discussed how to deal with unconverted mates. They are allowed to attend as long as they're not hostile. Unconverted mates seem to the the remaining demographic for the Insane Liar to tap.
To any PKG members reading this: So on Tuesday you're going to be sealed as part of the 144,000. Do you think it will be for real this time, and not the false alarm of February 2? Do you really think that you're fully trained to be a prince in the kingdom of God? Or perhaps all you're qualified to be is a dogcatcher. That would be OK, there could be a need, and with 144,000 there should be room for a few of those.
For another point of view on this sermon, see what Jack said about it.
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